When's the last time you challenged yourself? When's the last time you chose (or were forced) to do something that you knew would be difficult, but you were determined to do it anyways? Last week, I Twitter-proclaimed that I would be joining author Aliya S. King's #30in30 challenge for writers - quite simply, a challenge whereby you write (and preferably post to your blog) something every day for 30 days. I was excited to start. I kicked off a couple posts for the blog, was feeling good about myself - then Caribana weekend came along, and my posting got lost in a sea of feathers, glitter, and sunstroke. I had failed almost as soon as I started.
Did I dare get back in the #30in30 saddle and attempt to ride out the remaining days? Aliya caught one of my tweets lamenting about my early stumble and reminded me that it wasn't too late to get back in the game. So here I am. You'll likely see an increased amount of posting this month (hope you don't mind), but not EVERY day. I'll be taking the #30in30 challenge as an opportunity to get some of my innermost thoughts out in journaling, which in turn fuels my blogging - so it's a win-win all around!
Today I found out about another month-long writing challenge, which gives you a word with which you base your daily post on. I thought it would be great to combine the two, and use this challenge to give me a topic for the #30in30 when I'm struggling with writer's block. Today's word, boys and girls, is RENEW. And how appropriate a word that is for today.
Lately, I've been feeling discouraged, downtrodden, and stuck. The 9-5 grind has been grinding on my last nerve. Opportunities that I thought were meant solely for me have been doled out to other recipients. Too many uncertainties have left me feeling so anxious that I find myself grinding my teeth with my shoulders crunched up around my ears more often than usual. This morning, I felt like I was swinging from the very end of my rope and wondered if it would really be so bad if I just let go. The continuous climb was exhausting, and I seemed to be getting nowhere. Today, I had no energy to push. No energy to try. No energy to be bothered with attempting to do anything other than count the minutes until I could go back to bed. Like D'Angelo said in "The Root", 'I think I lost my mojo/in my favourite suit' - and today, I felt like I was just sitting there, like a butt-nekkid, mojo-less bump on a log.
I happened to be flipping randomly through my notebook looking for a blank piece of paper, when I came across a page with the title "Be Intentional!" The next two pages of furiously scribbled point form notes gave me the renewal I so desperately needed. You see, back on June 13th when I wrote the entry, I listed all the things I intended for my life. Instead of writing "I wish..." or "I hope..." or "I want...", I wrote "I am...", "I have..." and other statements to show that the things I want have already occurred. Seeing my ideal life right there in black and white reminded me of one thing - the only way to get it was to go get it. This woe-is-me, mojo-less vibe wasn't going to help. Waiting for someone to simply give me what I so desperately wanted wasn't going to happen. I would have get up, get out, and get something (word to Outkast).
So at this point, I'm starting to feel renewed, rejuvenated, and refreshed. I have a new fire lit under me, all thanks to that post I wrote two months ago. The life I desire is within reach, and I'm more than ready to go out there and get it.
I'm back on the #30in30 run! Are any of you out there participating? Have you ever felt stuck and discouraged? How did you renew yourself?